It's done! Magazine done, printed, bound, presented and handed in! You will have to wait until it's been graded to see the final outcome, but I think I could show a few pages of it to you lot. ;) It's been printed on this really beautiful textured paper and I used salmon colour wallpaper as the covers, I'm just so very proud of what I've produced and hopefully it'll come back as something else than a pass. I've just worked way too hard for it to get a pass!

For people who aren't familiar with this project, we were asked to create a magazine about homeless people. It could be for or against homeless people, it could be to raise awareness, it could be something you can actually give to the homeless (like a survival guide etc).. Anything at all. I went for a very typography heavy piece about a person's journey from living the good life to losing it all and recovering again. It's been one hell of a project, I'm very tired and just happy that it's over.



As I'm getting so much time to myself for a few weeks, I've decided to be nice to myself and really enjoy it. There's a few things I really want to do and maybe I'll have the time to try something new as well. :)

I want to read more. I figured out that I can download the Kindle app on my tablet and even download my Kindle library on it so I've rediscovered my love for reading! And what makes things even better is that Robert Fabbri's next book about Vespasian (Rome's Fallen Eagle) came out not so long ago (even though the release date is 2nd January I was still able to download it) and I've been burning to get into it properly, but with the deadline I've just had to put it off. Looking forward to late nights snuggled in bed with a book!


Go running. I got to a nice start a few weeks ago and then I had to drop everything in order to get my uni stuff done. I really miss going for a long walk or run, it's just one of those things that clears my head and gets rid of so much stress.

Get back into an exercise routine. I'm talking about resistance training now. I don't quite know what yet, maybe start going to the gym again or maybe do stuff at home. I just need to get back into it desperately as I know my core muscle strength is getting worse.

Sleep! I'm just going to have late mornings and let my body recover.

And of course, might do a bit of shopping as well to treat myself. :) I'm quite getting into the idea of wearing skirts and dresses on a daily basis now, just need to fill my wardrobe with some first! And I definitely need new shoes since I've had to give up on wearing heels, I need some pretty flats to replace all my heels.


And just to try and spread a bit of holiday cheer, a picture my other half took yesterday. I think this will be the amount of holiday spirit I can manage. :D

It's amazing how everything else gets pushed aside when there's a big deadline coming up. I haven't had the energy for exercise or blogging at all with all my uni stuff lately. Final deadline is on Monday (or Tuesday, that's when we do our evaluations) and I've still got loads to do so this'll be a sweet n short post to let you all know that I'm still alive! :D

It's really coming down to the fine details now. I've been tracing fonts on a separate bit of paper to "create" my own font to use in the final magazine, created tons of mockups of it and now I'm at the stage where I just need to put it all together and print it off. After Monday I can finally breathe and relax again, get back to exercising properly and actually recharge my batteries for the next term.


Right now all I'm hoping is that the project is a pass (our grading system is pass - merit - distinction) as I am just really drained and quite done with this project. For our first project it's just been so much to manage - we've been asked to be an editor, a designer, a photographer, a researcher and a journalist for this project, which just is a bit much in my opinion. Then again this is the very first year of the course I'm on so we are the guinea pigs.

I really stepped out of my comfort zone clothes wise today. I don't think I've ever worn something this short and it really made me feel self conscious all day. I just kept tugging my top down and making sure my shirt wasn't wonky! :D Then again I did quite like it, it's just me not being used to clothing like this at all. I've just never had the body to wear anything like this.

Oh and I do like it how the angle in the picture is making me look waaaay taller than I really am.


I've been meaning to mention this for a while now - new handbag yay! I'm not really bothered with accessorising usually and I use the same bag for everything, so actually buying a new bag just for the fun of it is something very weird of me. My friend introduced me to this second hand vintage shop called Rokit a few weeks ago and I just found this absolute gem in the bag section. Rokit is exactly like any second hand shop really, once you've bought an item it gets removed from the website and nobody else will have the same item (or well, obviously if anyone has kept their old clothes etc they will).

And this is what I found - a very adorable pirate themed bag from Betsey Johnson. I only paid £30 for it, which is an absolute bargain compared to the prices of her new bags!


Oh and last weeks weigh in - huuuge gain because of the night before.. :p Christmas do at a Chinese restaurant, you can just imagine the amount of salt in the food + alcohol. Hah.

I'm not usually the one to say anything about the cold weather (being from northern Europe and all, where we actually have cold winters), but today and yesterday I've just been freezing my bits off! :D We don't have our heating on during the days yet as we are trying to save money on heating and electric bills, so it's time to just suck it up and find millions of layers of clothes when I'm at home during the day.

And that's pretty much what I did! :D T-shirt, hoodie (birthday present from my lovely friend Nils by the way! ♥), slacks and two pairs of socks. And those stripy woolen socks are hand made by my mum! I wish I had the patience and time to relearn how to knit socks and mittens, I'd be sorted for life! I can make hats and scarves but that's it, when it gets more difficult than that I'm just completely lost.


I'm finding it very awkward to go for a walk right now. Not in the sense that I don't have the time or I don't want to, but the weather! It's too cold to go out in just a top or a t-shirt, but wearing a long sleeved shirt on top of it is a bit too much. Noticed that today as well, I really wanted to take my hoodie off halfway through my walk but figured that I'd just catch a cold if I did. And don't really have that much spare money to actually do more shopping right now. First world problems. :p

And I also should go get my eyes checked, I'm really starting to struggle. I've had glasses since I was quite young, I started needing them for reading, looking at a computer screen and so on. My last eye check was 6-7 years ago and it's really starting to be clear that I need to get them checked again. I don't really use my current glasses for that very reason, my eyesight has actually changed so much since then that they don't really help. I'm just finding it very difficult to actually read anything on our white board at uni, I need to go sit close to the screen to be able to read the text.

I actually had a little trial run with my glasses last night. They didn't help. At all. I was only able to wear them for about 10 minutes and just had to take them off, my eyes felt so weird as they were trying to adjust to the lenses. Oh well, something to get sorted out when I finally get my student finance come through. :p

"People say I look slim, but I don't. I look slim-mer and trim-mer, which is a very different thing! But I'm trying and I'm feeling a lot better!"
- James Corden

While I'm not a massive celeb fangirl, I really felt like this quote is something I relate to so much right now. James Corden as a person means pretty much nothing to me, but as I was browsing through last week's Fabulous magazine his interview just caught my eye (mainly because it had "weight loss" written all over it).

People can definitely see the change in me and think I look great, and yeah in a way I think I look great right now. But it's not quite enough for me, all these people only see me with my clothes on. I am the one who needs to put up with the mirror image of myself without the clothes on and the cover they give. While I'm really happy with the way my figure is, I still hide quite a bit of the fat under the waistband of my jeans or under baggy tops. I am not far off from losing all that and I'm proud about that, but it's not quite enough for me yet. When I mention it I just get people gasping for air and thinking that I will just turn into a skeleton (I won't, trust me!), but I think they'd see it differently if they actually saw me the way I do.

I'm sure my past insecurities affect my self-image as well in a way despite my past being, well, the past. I do feel a million times more confident about myself than I used to, I know it's not all weight loss related and it's been a long process that's taken me years. It's small things like feeling "brave" enough to go out without any makeup on, not being afraid to show people who you really are. I've learned to think about it from the point of view that if people are so shallow that they can't look past things like lack of makeup, I don't even want to know them. What good would people like that contribute to my life, if all they could think about is something so superficial?


And to change the subject to something a bit lighter now! I am so excited about this weekend! It's my birthday on Monday and I'm going up to London to celebrate with a small group of friends. I've gotten to know all these people through World of Warcraft, I've known them all for years and they really are some of the best company I could think of. Unfortunately not everyone could make it and I really wanted to include a few people from my uni course as well but it would've been too short notice to ask them to join me. :( Oh well, I just need to organise something separate with those guys next week! Still debating with myself if I should head back early enough on Monday to catch my afternoon lessons at uni, I don't like missing uni!


I am a bit worried about it food wise though. I know I'm not going to drink tons because I've never been a big drinker in general and the thought of it hindering my progress just puts me off a bit. But the food! It's definitely my weak link when we do stuff like this, my brain just seems to switch off when I get handed a menu at a restaurant! Thankfully one of my friends is really into working out now as well so hopefully she will keep me in check all weekend! And just to prepare for it all, I'm trying to eat as healthy as possible until then. My lunch today was just a simple salmon "salad" with a bit of cottage cheese on the side. Yummy. :)

Time to head out and do a bit of last minute shopping before work, all my clothes are really starting to be waaay too baggy and it bothers me so much. Badly fitting clothes really make me look bigger than I am and especially underwear can really feel uncomfortable if it doesn't fit right. I feel like this will be an expensive shopping trip.. :p

Yay girly stuff today! I do shopping very rarely so a bit of retail therapy was very needed. I ordered a gym bag, some sports bras and workout trousers & shorts. I'll show them off once they arrive, hopefully I'll get them before Tuesday. More about that in a bit. ;)

I also ordered myself a Jawbone UP today. I've wanted something like this for a very long time and was reading into all these kinds of fitness bracelets when I was in Finland. The Jawbone one seemed to be most suited for my own needs, as the sleep tracker on it seemed to be the most detailed and advanced. I struggle with my sleep quite often, so it'll be so handy to know how much I actually sleep during the night. I will do a nice, extensive review of this bracelet once I've been using for a while. ^^

I spent my lunch with my friend today. We marched into Boots to get some food (two meal deals for £5, amazing offer in my opinion!) and walked across town to the beach. It was incredibly busy for a Friday afternoon, wasn't quite expecting that in all fairness! Was a lovely day so didn't mind it as much, was just nice to sit down and relax for a bit with some good food and good company. :)


I also decided to spoil myself a bit and buy hair colour. Funny thing, two months ago I bought the same colour as I got today (so a cold, dark brown colour) and over the past two months it has faded to this gingerish shade. I don't really mind ginger hair, but right now it's not the look I'm going for so wanted to cover it up.


Anyways, about Tuesday! We finally got around to signing up to Fitness First earlier today and we are going there for our first workout on Tuesday evening. Or well, it'll most likely be just induction (going through equipment etc) and me talking with a personal trainer about my back, but you've got to start somewhere right? :) I will definitely start taking advantage of the free classes right from the beginning.

Busy day today. :) Let's start with the more exciting news.

I try to go to Finland to see my family and old friends at least once a year. And in six weeks I'm flying off to this wonderful country again. I'm really excited about it, it's been so long since I've seen everyone. What makes it even better is that we are also having a big family reunion while I'm over there.


It does also put pressure on me. My mum has always been very quick to notice change in me weight wise. It always kills me a bit if she says that I've gained weight when I go over. In a way I feel like I've let her down somehow. I mean she will always worry about my health, especially since my back is what it is. I'm sure she will be surprised in a positive way this time, though. Last time she saw me was when she was over here last Christmas, just before I started losing weight. Since then I've dropped 6kg and toned up by loads.

Going home gives me a fantastic opportunity to work out though. There's a lake literally next to my childhood home and the walking options are limitless. I really can't wait. Just hoping that my other half gets the chance to take time off work so he could join me.

I popped into town to hand in some CVs to some shops in the hopes of getting a job for the summer before my op. Fingers crossed I get something, would be really nice to have some spare money.. I did also get some hair colour (again). I'm just fed up with having to recolour my hair every two weeks when I keep it red so it's bye bye red again. Back to brunette it is. It actually looks really nice, the washed out red is kinda coming through the brown so it looks quite different.



I'm so hooked to this Garnier Olia hair colour. It just smells so amazing, completely different to what I've used before. The smell is pretty much the only reason I buy it.

Oh and to finish this post on a high, my legs are finally pain free! No knee ache, no sore ankles. Hoorah!

So with my ankle being what it is I had to replan my wardrobe for this weekend. I don't really have any fancy flats for going out so while I was out today I got some new clothes and a pair of shoes! Good excuse to go shopping. I've also been looking for jeans for absolutely forever now and finally found a nice pair that feels amazing and doesn't look awful on me. And because I was attracted by bright colours, I grabbed a nice top as well.

I've ALWAYS hated shopping for jeans. Especially with the current trend of incredibly skinny jeans that can only fit rice sticks in them. I've always had curves and I'm short, so skinny jeans have always looked incredibly hideous on me. I prefer balancing my bum and thighs out with bootcut jeans. It just looks so much better. I don't think I'm even going to start buying skinny jeans when I lose more weight. Just not my style at all.



Oh and on a more serious note, I went to get an application form for uni as well. Or well, uni level course that my old college organises. Fingers crossed I get in. :)