Are you fucking kidding me, seriously?!

So my body thinks that based on this week's calorie intake I've gained so much weight that I'm back to the reading about four weeks ago? And I can't help but beat myself up about last night - I could've gone for the more healthy options but I didn't. Self discipline was below zero last night and it annoys me so much right now.

I know the scales aren't telling the whole story, but it does discourage me so much to think that I've worked so hard all week just to see the scale show such a massive gain. My other half kept telling me that it's muscle and that I look better than ever, but still. ARGH!!

I seem to be watching my food more than ever. We went out to Brighton today to celebrate my brother-in-law's birthday. We had dinner at JB's American Diner, quite a "standard" American place if you ask me. They only really had burgers + some steak, a few wraps and salads. None of the wraps and salads really tickled my fancy so I went for a classic beef burger.

Now here's a little secret. I couldn't enjoy myself. I kept thinking about tomorrow's WI and if this meal is going to affect it in a negative way. I also had chicken strips, two bottles of cider and a few sips from my other half's Milkyway milkshake. Well over my calorie budget without even doing the math. I know it's so perfectly OK to have 'cheat days' every now and then, but having it the night before my WI just makes me so nervous. So nervous, that during the day I barely had anything to eat. I had two cups of coffee, a pot of yoghurt, a small Kit Kat and a bag of crisps to keep me going until dinner. No proper breakfast or lunch.

I'm gonna be absolutely honest, not losing weight or having a gain tomorrow will upset me. I know it's normal but still. I'm going down, not up.

So, since Monday I've done the two new workouts. I ache! It actually feels really good to move a bit and feel that post workout ache in my muscles - especially in the abs! Absolutely loving it right now. At least I know I'm doing the workouts right instead of just half assing it.

It's a massive step up from the first two workouts, that's for sure. 1&2 mainly focused on one big muscle group at a time, giving some time for my body to adjust to the amount of exercise. But 3&4 are making me work extra hard, combining legs and arms in the same move and so on. Looking forward to finishing Phase 1 now, I'm so certain that I'll start seeing big results soon!

Today is my cardio day, it's nice to let my muscles rest a bit. :)

Hah, screw you last week! Managed to get rid of the +0.5kg I gained last week AND an extra 0.3kg! I think I've finally found a good way of eating and exercising. BR is quite demanding on the body despite being only 30 minutes a day, so I don't feel bad about having a biscuit with my morning coffee and so on.

And today's plan is to go to the cinema, might treat myself to a small bag of sweets. :)

Half way through phase one! Thought that I'd write a little something about the past two weeks in one handy post.

The only thing that really hit me during the first workouts was the cardio - even after two weeks my calfs are screaming me to stop bouncing around like a bunny rabbit. It is so intense for calfs alone, other body parts are pretty much left in peace during this.

So, the first crosstraining workouts aren't quite as tough as you'd think. The moves you are doing are stuff that most of us probably learns during P.E. classes in school. And having done some of 30 Day Shred made it easier for me, as a lot of the moves were really familiar to me when doing BR. I really recommend doing 30DS first (or at least some of it, I did two weeks of Jillian's workouts before starting) if you are thinking of ordering BR, it'll make the first two weeks so much easier and more enjoyable.

For me the biggest failure was the kickstart. Like I've said so so many times before, the cardio killed me after the first workout. I just couldn't do the cardio workout every day on top of my crosstraining. I barely got out of bed after two days. And the diet itself didn't last for the entire week, I just craved carbs so bad and I was really hungry despite still eating about 1200 calories.

Looking forward to the next two weeks! Gonna watch the workouts either tonight or tomorrow to get familiar with the moves beforehand. I find that really handy because then I won't have to spend half of my workout staring at Jillian doing all these moves and then trying to catch up.