2014 has been a tough one, but at the same one of the most rewarding years of my life so far. I feel very grateful for even the moments where I felt like I wanted to give up, as it gave me something invaluable in return. New wonderful friendships made, a complete change in career and while for most of the year my mind has been elsewhere than my fitness & weight loss goals, I am happy. I feel like I've fought my way through all the bad things and come out of it all a winner. Thank you to everyone who's made it possible - you know who you are. <3

To highlight some of the awesome things that happened this year, I browsed through my Instagram account and grabbed some random shots here and there. Enjoy! :)

Moving house in February.

Celebrating my weight loss journey so far.

Download Festival with my brother in June. Powerman 5000 on stage.

Lots of Noom related stuff all year long!

A brilliant t-shirt found at EGX London, an absolute nerd heaven. ;)

I had the chance to go home to Finland in November.

Absolutely loving the new job, working most of Christmas didn't bother me at all!

.. and after eight years I finally managed to get myself new glasses! They make me feel so smart. ;)

So do I have any set plans for 2015? Well, I don't really believe in resolutions, I mainly plan and set targets for myself. I want to keep going on the same path I have been for the past month or so - I've simply felt happy and very calm since removing myself from a lot of restrain and stress. I can finally express exactly who I am, pretty much all that pressure has been taken off me and I can just go back to enjoying my life.

Weight loss wise I'm absolutely dying to get back into a good routine with both diet and exercise. I'm going to wait out the Jan/Feb gym rush and focus on working out at home, but eventually I really really want to start doing the 5x5 Stronglifts. I mentioned it a while ago but I just never got around to it - mainly because of work. Now, I know it sounds like the worst excuse in the world to slip to bad habits, and my solution was to find work that wouldn't take up 10-12 hours of my day and drain me completely. While I won't have the same time to dedicate to weight loss as I did when I was recovering from my back injury, I will definitely have bundles of time compared to earlier this year!

2015, I can't wait for you.

Our till system rotates funny, thoughtful and sarcastic quotes. I rarely pay attention to them, but then I happened to look down and this amazing quote popped up.


I see this in two different ways really. The first one is quite obvious - why would you jump straight into the water without actually knowing how deep it is and what exactly is below the surface? The chances are that you will drown or get seriously hurt. Or maybe something offers you a drink you've never heard of? You wouldn't just drink the whole glass in one go, would you?

The second one can be a negative one. It can come down to confidence and how brave you are to try new things and something you might be hesitant about. It can also reflect on people you meet along the way. It is never a good idea to rush into trusting someone you've only just met, as people tend to reveal their "true selves" after they get comfortable with you. Unfortunately this has been something I've had to learn the hard way, but in some cases these friendships have gone on for quite a while and I've stepped over that magical trust barrier, because I've felt like "OK, I've tested the waters long enough.". It's never easy to feel like you have been betrayed after you've let yourself become so vulnerable to another human being.

But it can always be a good thing! Protecting your precious soul can make you more independent, as all of a sudden you're not relying on everyone else when you're feeling down or struggling with something on an emotional level. I'm obviously not saying that you should bottle everything up, but certain mental "toughness" can completely change you as a person. It will make you a stronger person, it'll make you appreciate yourself more and you will end up taking a lot less bullshit from people.

I've NEVER been a Christmas person. It hasn't been a holiday worth celebrating and enjoying, but for the past few years I've allowed myself to get into it a little bit. I don't know if it was just determination to hate the entire holidays (well, I still believe it has lost all its value as an opportunity to spend time with your family) but being surrounded by people who actually enjoy it and get all excited when they get to decorate their houses and get a tree must've rubbed off on me a little.


And the fact that my other half is quite into it has definitely affected it all. Now that we have our own flat, he's really been looking forward to having our very own tree and decorations. We actually went to B&Q a few weeks ago just to get decorations and lights ready, even though we only got the tree a few nights ago.



I must admit, it gives the flat a special atmosphere. I think I will miss it when it's gone! Our Christmas plans are quite open still, I'm working over the holidays apart from Christmas day so I believe we will just get together with the family and relax.

The one thing that always gives me a bit of stress is the whole deal with presents. I'm really not a present person (I always tell people not to get me anything, but they never listen!) so I rarely buy presents for anyone unless I actually see something that feels like the perfect thing to give. I don't want to buy stuff just for the sake of it, it completely goes against my values. 



I'm actually really pleased with the lights I got for the windows. They look good enough to keep on the wall all year round really, they're not exactly screaming "Christmas" all over the place. :)

Now that I'm back to being a redhead, I've done so much research about how to keep my colour last. The few boxes of Garnier Olia I bought washed straight off, so I had to result to buying "specialist" hair colour from Special Effects. It was a very messy process and the colour has stained my finger nails, arms and neck, but oh my the end result is stunning! It's just the perfect mixture of pink and red, couldn't get such a pretty result with high street colours! And the one bottle I got will last me for ages, I only used about a 1/4 of it this time (mixed into some conditioner). Special Effects is a vegetarian colour brand, they use no peroxide or other nasty chemicals so it's perfectly fine to leave the colour in for several hours. Some people have said that they actually wrap it all up in cling film and a towel and have it in their hair overnight! My hair feels really healthy despite the colour being very harsh, couldn't get the same feeling with normal hair colours.

I think I've found the colour I've been searching for all these years! ♥

I don't even know how to begin! It's been a really crazy few months, and to put it bluntly it really hasn't been easy.

Without going into too much detail, I've been under quite some pressure and stress. That coupled up with my back issues firing up recently, it was really clear to me that I really need a big change in my life or my health will go down rapidly - both mentally and physically.

A few of my friends kept asking me why I haven't written anything for such a long time. Well the answer has been way too simply - I haven't had the time or energy for it. Getting home around eight in the evening after a long day at work, cooking dinner and getting ready for bed has pretty much been my life for a very long time. And you know what, we all have that certain point where we can't take it anymore. I had very little energy left for the things that kept me happy; exercise, going out, gaming.. Even sleep was something I struggled with, and had to result to getting some sleeping pills to get any kind of sleep.

But you know what guys? Something that stressful isn't worth it. I don't live just to feel like I have no personal life left at the end of the day. I want to feel like 'me' again. And that is exactly why I needed to make this big change. For the past week I've felt like a completely different person, I've had the chance to express who I am, not bound to a certain mould anymore.

And what better way to symbolise such a big change than to colour my hair red again? I felt like a little child at Christmas when I went to Boots on Sunday, it was genuinely the most excited I've been about something so meaningless for quite a while. I've always thought that red was my colour (despite being so awkward to keep nice..), and honestly right now I couldn't be happier.