Like I mentioned last week, I've chilled with my diet a little bit. I'm kinda regretting it right now as I feel like I can eat anything I want to (including some chocolate unfortunately)! I'm still slightly ill, nowhere near as bad as it was a week ago but I still get awful coughing and sneezing fits every now and then.

I haven't completely fallen off the wagon, though. I'm just such a foodie that I get quite creative with my dinners. :) I bought some puff pastry this week and turned it into salmon pockets tonight, they were absolutely amazing! I chopped a yellow pepper and red onion, fried the salmon and veg, added spices, a bit of sweet chilli sauce and a few tablespoons of creme fraiche and then divided the mix into four portions and loaded them on the pastry (+ 15 mins in the oven). All it needed with it was a fresh side salad.



I've also been thinking about my workouts a lot this week. With my work days being 10+ hours, I really don't find the energy for a workout in the evening when I get home. My only option to do any kinds of exercise is early morning before work - that'd mean getting up at seven at the latest so I can squeeze in 30-45 minutes of exercise before getting ready for work. I really don't like the idea of getting up so early but it's really the only way I could do it right now, so I suppose I just need to suck it up and actually start setting my alarm a lot earlier than I'm used to.

I mean I know I can lose the remaining weight just by eating right, but it won't give me the results I really want. To reach my ideal body I need the exercise to give me that shape I'm after. Jillian Michaels pretty much has my dream body, so that's what I'm aiming for.


So all I need now is to just get a grip and actually get up early in the mornings (and also fix our DVD player so I can do some workouts at home..).

I got a little pressie from Noom today! Thank you Sarah for the super awesome shirt, I love it! It'll be the perfect workout top in this heat, it's nice and light and the colour is so awesome (by the way, matches the new Noom look!). I also got a balloon, it has been a good source of entertainment for both me and my other half all afternoon.. :D

Also feeling very Dutch wearing all this orange haha!



I've had a very relaxed two days off from work. As I do work insanely hard, I just don't rush at all when I do get some time to myself. I'm still trying to recover from this stupid flu as well, so I didn't even bother going out for a walk. I've actually been doing quite a bit of drawing and painting again, one of the pieces being this World of Warcraft fanart piece I started last September and never finished!

We've also had this huge canvas just sitting in the lounge ever since we moved into this flat. I wanted to paint something and hang it on the wall above our dining table, but I just never quite had the inspiration for anything worth painting. I finally found some inspiration and I currently have half a painting drying on the dining table! Hopefully the other half will materialise soon enough so I can show you guys what I've been up to!



Painting is quite a therapeutic thing. It always lets me process some thoughts, just think about general stuff going on in my life and try and find answers to things that have puzzled me for ages. Today I was just thinking about motivation and how I keep it up weight loss wise. I actually surround myself with things that motivate me - pictures of healthy food and fit people, use apps that show me my progress, take pictures of myself and compare them to some older ones and most of all just talk to people about my goals and dreams! It's so great to chat to someone who knows what you're going through and can give some advice, it just gives that extra boost of motivation to keep going (especially when things are tough)!

I'm quite involved with social media, and I try to include all these fitness related things to my feeds. I follow several fitness pages on Facebook / Instagram / Twitter, I'm building a health & fitness board on Pinterest, I read fitness and weight loss related blogs and so on!

Do you have any motivational boosters?

I'm so determined to finish off my weight loss project by the end of the summer. So determined that I've actually signed up for a 6 week intensive exercise and diet plan made by a Finnish company called FitFarm.

I obviously can't share too much about this whole thing as it's a paid service and me dishing out the bits of it for free would violate the terms of the "contract". I will however talk about my general progress, how this plan is making me feel and so on. I placed myself in group 2, which is for people looking to lose 10-20kg. I mean I'm not going to be too disappointed if I don't lose all the weight I'm still looking to lose, but even half of it would be absolutely great. I just need that little push to get off this plateau I seem to be stuck at right now.


Taken from my Instagram, prepping the paperwork.

I'm a bit of an obsessive person about certain things, so I've written down the week 1 diet plan on a bit of paper so I can stick it on the fridge. I've also gone to Holland & Barrett to buy all the supplement goodies they recommend to use during the plan + a massive stack of little plastic containers for lunches.


The most difficult part of this whole thing is definitely going to be the eating part. I work really long hours and I don't get to come home during the day (apart from Monday and Friday), so I need to be able to have my lunch in a sealable container. Thankfully Poundland was able to supply me with those, and I am actually going to do a bit of meal prepping for the next six weeks! Thankfully the lunches are perfectly fine cold, so in that sense it won't be an issue at all. I just need to get into the habit of cooking a lot of meat in one batch and then just divide it into enough containers to last me for a week!

And just because the plan isn't a big enough challenge, we are having a team dinner a week into the whole thing! Our department is paying for it all and I'm worried that I'll end up eating and drinking far more than I think I should because I'll know it's free!

I'm actually really excited to get started with this, it'll be something completely new and fresh so I definitely won't be getting bored of it - and only lasting for six weeks and the plans changing every few weeks, how can I?

For several months now I've felt trapped. Trapped doing something I hated more and more by the day. I struggled to find motivation to carry on, but I refused to give up. This spring has dragged on beyond belief. And today was the day when I could finally breathe out and think to myself, that I'm free of it all.

I wrote quite a long post about the wrong "career" choice a while ago. A post about me feeling like I want to help people achieve their fitness related goals, make the world a healthier place one person at a time. A post about how I ended up studying graphic design because it was the convenient choice for me and my back at the time, but now I couldn't be happier to be done with the course.


I was actually scrolling through some recent posts where I've mentioned studying, and the amount of stress I've spoken about is scary. No wonder I've put on weight since Easter, I've just felt really awful about being on this course. I've let myself fall back into bad habits diet wise, I've stopped going to the gym due to lack of energy and I've just not been happy about it at all.

The final deadline for our last project is in a few hours, but I managed to finish everything by about 3pm. I only had a few little bits to do and the thought of having the entire day for it just made it worse! I procrastinated like a king for a while, doing a small section of work and then going back to browsing YouTube or any other website that would take my mind off the work.


And guess what the first thing I did was after submitting? Go for a very long walk. The feeling of being in no rush after such a long time was refreshing. Actually walked the route I used to walk back when I was only in the beginning of my weight loss journey, I went through this long journey in my head and just felt proud of myself, in so many ways at the same time. I went through one of the most difficult years in my life, still managed to drop all this weight (despite gaining a bit back since Easter) and finally found a job I really enjoy.

People are wondering what I'm doing next. Well, quite simple - I'm going to carry on working to save money for a PT course, but that's still at least a year away. Thankfully the shifts I've been given for most of July are mostly split shifts, giving me the opportunity to get back into going to the gym! All these gaps in my shifts are perfect for a quick workout. I really can't wait!


I actually did a quick full body workout tonight while the other half was watching football. Bicep curls, lat raises, basic crunches, chest flies, dead lifts and squats, followed by a very thorough rolling session with my beloved foam roller (my brother actually fell in love with that thing when he was over!). Somehow I've just found all this energy to use up - maybe the stress of my course has actually been making me really passive lately? I don't know. I'm just really happy that energy is there again.


Oh and I'm completely in love with my hair right now! It is the result of a lot of patience and a bit of bleach, hair colour and silver shampoo. It's nice to be blonde again after such a long time, and this time I've almost managed to get to my natural colour! Hooray!

It's probably really obvious to most of you that I've kinda fallen off the wagon since before Easter. Deadlines and work left me with not a lot of spare time to exercise, and junk food became my friend again. It's incredible how easy it is to pick the bad but quick option instead of thinking about the choices you make when buying lunch.

I actually got on the scales this morning, only to see a 4kg gain since I slipped. Quite depressing in a way, but so expectable. I've not treated my body the way it deserves lately, and this is definitely its way of saying that this is enough. And for the past week I've really done all I can to get back to the healthy train, and having a bit of discipline is finally starting to show results.


I suppose it was just so easy to think, that because I walk to work and stand up pretty much all day, I don't need to exercise. But at the same time I've upped my food intake slightly to be able to cope with the long work hours I do. It's just not a match made in heaven, is it?

In a way it feels odd, I've gained weight but at the same time someone I know keeps saying that I just keep getting thinner and thinner everytime he sees me. I know it's not true and it does stab me in the heart a bit, because I've not followed the healthy lifestyle I've been working so hard towards since last year. 


But you know what? Dwelling in it is not going to fix things, I need to be the one to decide to be good again. Since starting to use my UP band again two weeks ago, I've hit my step target nearly every day and also actually gone for walks again. The weather being amazing definitely helps, as I just can't sit indoors when the sun is shining and it's so warm that you don't need a hoodie anymore.


I also made a promise to myself to stop buying Coke when I'm at work. I've actually ordered a new stainless steel water bottle and I'm going to start using that at work, instead of constantly buying bottles of water or juice. I'm cautious of both BPA in the bottles and the amount of sugar in bottled juices, so going for a stainless steel bottle will definitely make me feel better about myself.

This doesn't mean a complete ban to everything that isn't a vegetable or source of protein, of course. I've never been one to follow strict diets and I don't believe in denying guilty pleasures completely, as it's about a lifestyle, not just a quick fix.


There's so many things I need to catch up with (a few reviews and such), and hopefully I will start having more time for my precious blog. It has after all given me so many good things over the 1,5 years I've been doing this. One of the latest being an invite to become a part of the Noom community as a guest writer! I'm really excited about this opportunity, as I do love the app and being a writer for such a bit community will be so rewarding for me! :)

I think I will actually do a proper progress check on Sunday as well, being the first Sunday of the month and my usual progress check day. I'm really not looking forward to it, but it's exactly what I need for that final kick to the butt to start working towards a healthier me again.

Every time I feel like I need some time away from everything in my life, I go to the beach. Just watching the waves come and go, listen to the sound the crashing waves make and breathing in the salty sea air calms me down. It gives me the opportunity to arrange my thoughts and come up with solutions to anything that's bothering me.

I only needed to be at work for 3pm yesterday so had a lot of time in the morning to just enjoy the sunshine. I figured that I'll take my camera with me as well, see if there's anything worth taking pictures of.


I started thinking of my weight loss journey. For the past month or so, it's just all been on pause - even though it really shouldn't. It's so easy to just slip into old habits when life gets too hectic to manage properly. This time last year I had nothing but spare time on my hands, so planning my workouts and meals was so effortless. Now I'm juggling uni and work (and so far I've had no time to touch any of my uni assignments), and most nights I'm only back home between 8 and 9 so by the time I've cooked dinner and cleaned up it's pretty much time to go to bed!

For the past week or so I've been trying to come up with practical ways to keep up with the healthy lifestyle I've been pushing for since January last year. I must admit, I'm drinking a ton of Diet Coke right now. It does get fairly hot at work so we need to keep hydrated, and most of the time Coke really feels more appealing than stale water (bottled water really does taste awful!). It's really a conscious decision to go for the "bad" drink, and I just need to find a bit of self discipline again.

And luckily for me my job involves me being on my feet pretty much the entire day. And now that the weather is getting better, we will be walking around with cameras a lot. So hopefully that'll at least keep my weight where it is now, as long as I'm smart about what I eat..


I've also kind of stopped going on the scale. I know it so well that I've been eating poorly and done next to no exercise, and that's really making the scale my worst enemy. I'm so sure that I've put on a few kilos, and just the thought of that popping up on the scale is making me feel slightly anxious.

All I really need is a motivation boost again. Would taking part in a challenge like DietBet boost my motivation enough to keep pushing? I'm such a competitive person, that doing something like that will probably be exactly what I'd need. Should I constantly be aiming towards a bigger goal to achieve what I want in life? Should my next step be a fitness competition? Should I start an active hobby that'll keep me occupied a few nights a week? Or maybe I just need a friend to go to the gym with me?

.. and saying that, my other half has actually been thinking about joining my gym. May the most epic plan of this spring commence!

I watched a very interesting podcast by the wonderful Ariel of Icon For Hire yesterday, and it got me thinking. She raises really good points about why we do what we do on a daily basis - why do we change our hair, why do we dress the way we do, why do we change our appearance? The podcast itself is really worth a listen, Ariel really hits the nail about the subject.


It got me thinking about my own decisions, both past and present. I used to dress myself in dark and baggy clothes, I wanted to hide from the world and blend in. I had no confidence to wear anything else, as I'd hear nasty comments about my body and overall appearance if I did. In a way my appearance reflected the way I felt inside.


It took me several years to stop giving a damn about what everyone else thought about me. People telling me what they thought about me was a part of my daily life for a very long time, so no wonder I started taking every negative comment to heart. It actually took as much as moving to a different country to start the healing process. Looking back to it all now makes me quite proud of myself - I managed to put up with all that negativity and nasty comments for such a long time without giving up, and that's made me a stronger person. I've got such a thick skin now, silly comments made by completely irrelevant people mainly makes me laugh now.

And believe me, learning to ignore all this crap wasn't easy. To be able to accept myself was the very first thing I did, and after that it's been a very smooth ride. You don't need to be accepted by everyone and do things that every single person you talk to will approve of, it's your life and you make the decisions about it, not someone else with a different opinion.


The same goes with fitness. People have different ideal bodies, and bashing someone just because they are aiming for their own dream body is just mad. Someone might want 10% bodyfat and massive muscles, while their friend might be looking to tone up and stick to 20%. Two completely different people, two completely different ideals.

It's about what I want. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to wear whatever I want. I want to tone up. I want to be confident. It's all about me, there's no room for everybody else. Hell yes I will walk out of the door with my World of Warcraft shirt on, because it's my life and I'm the only one who should have any say in it.

Don't give up on your own dreams just because someone doesn't like it.

I've kind of had an idea of when I want to reach my target weight by. Ever since I started I had the magical time frame of one and a half years in mind and with my current pace I'm sticking to that target pretty well. Originally I thought that it'd be nice to be done with losing weight by end of June, but now I've got a new date in mind!

A huge chunk of my closest friends live in different countries so I only get to see them once or twice a year when we gather up in either Holland or London. Our latest meetup was last October for my birthday, so it's been a while now! One of my friends messaged me earlier today about wanting to have everyone over for her birthday in May so that's my new target! Looking to fly over on 16th May, so until then I'm going to work my butt off and eat as clean as I possible can. I also placed a bet with my other half because he doesn't think I can stay away from curries for so long - if I don't have any takeaway for seventeen weeks he will give me £20! :D That'll pay for one hell of a takeaway haha!


Oh and things are getting rather exciting in our lives now, as we are looking to move house! The one we have in mind right now is really close to town, which would mean incredibly easy access to my new gym (hopefully I'll manage to arrange a meeting with the gym owner for Wendesday so I can get started) and a swimming pool as well! Was thinking of doing three weight training days and one day of cardio (either at the gym or swimming pool), maybe throw in a few walks as well depending on my schedule.

But yeah, it's all exciting at the moment!

I've had quite a few people ask me how I got to the point where I am today. On top of that I see a constant flow of new threads on my regular forum about how to lose weight / get back in shape and what's a good diet for you. A lot of people seem to think that starving yourself is the way to go, but you couldn't be more wrong!! Losing weight is so incredibly simple in the end.


The very first thing I did was drop out the majority of junk food and started drinking more water. That alone flushed out 2.6kg worth of water and all sorts of gunk that had built up in my system over the years (eating high sodium foods leaves your body craving for water and retains fluids). After the first week the speed of weight loss does slow down dramatically as your body is now burning fat instead of getting rid of the water! I know it has discouraged a lot of people as you expect to lose fat at the same rate as the Biggest Loser contestants, but stick to it!


There's really no harm in reading a lot of articles and books about healthy living, nutrition and exercise. It will help you make better choices with your food and understand how everything in your body works. For example, you don't necessarily need exercise to lose weight. It is obviously recommended as you get stronger and you have increased rest burn when your muscles grow, but it's not something you should worry about when you start. Your body has a certain rest burn rate (your body needs a certain amount of energy to keep your body functioning) and simply eating to that limit will make you drop the weight.


My main form of exercise has been walking. I did also do Jillian Michaels' Body Revolution for a few months, but eventually the intensity of her workouts got far too much for my back and I had to stop. I keep thinking about starting BR again (and I don't even want to think about how many times I've mentioned it over here!) as right now it seems like the most cost efficient form of exercise for me, being a student and all. I had a look at my weight loss rate when I was working out with the program and it really did work, just proves that you don't need to get a gym membership to get started.

And the very last thing you need is a bit of self discipline and determination. I do still have my occasional takeaways and treats, but my overall diet is the way it should be so the occasional cheat meal won't ruin my progress (short term sure, as the amount of sodium in takeaways is usually really high). I absolutely love cooking healthy food and it does give me great satisfaction to know that I am giving my body a good source of energy. Cooking healthy food is far from bland and expensive (a great page about junk food vs fresh produce) so it shouldn't be an excuse to go for the ready meals or takeaways.

Believe in yourself. Just by getting up and doing something makes you a better person than you were yesterday.

People really tend to make the mistake of getting far too into their weight loss resolutions and when they burn out because of it, they give up. Here's a few helpful tips to everyone who's recently started their journey into becoming a better version of themselves!

1. Start slow. There's no point going all out the very first week. You need to keep in mind that losing weight and getting in shape requires a lifestyle change. Just going on a fad diet will get you absolutely no results in the long run and a lot of people gain all the weight back after going back to their old diets. 80% of weight loss happens in the kitchen, so make sure to tweak your overall diet to a more healthy one! It takes a while to get used to change, so don't overburden your body by changing too many things at a time.

2. Rest. When we exercise we actually damage our muscles so our bodies really need the rest to be able to repair all the damage we have caused. Don't worry though, it's not bad damage - as long as you don't go all out and don't rest. If you overdo it you will really injure yourself and that will put everything on hold or even make you quit.


3. Find something you enjoy. It goes without saying that trying to get fit by doing something you don't enjoy will make you give up eventually. Not a fan of the gym? Try an exercise DVD you can do in the privacy of your own home or go for a run instead.

4. Spot reduction is a myth. All these exercise programs claiming to target your problem areas and melting the fat away is a bit fat lie. Your body will burn fat evenly around your body (granted, some people seem to lose more from certain areas) so it's no wonder if you feel frustrated when you don't get the results the program claims.

5. Balance. For best results combine cardio with resistance training. While cardio will make you look lean, having a bit more muscle mass will make you look incredibly healthy and it'll also increase your rest burn. Don't worry ladies, weight lifting won't turn you into a Hulk unless you actually aim towards a muscular look, it'll simply make you look incredible!


6. Don't give up. Body transformation takes a long time, it's not going to happen overnight but requires a lot of dedication. Don't think about how far away your goal is, but how far you've already come! Just imagine yourself a year from now, just think about how amazing you're going to look if you just stick to it!

7. Track your progress! I really can't stress this enough, track it track it track it! Weigh yourself, take measurements, take pictures! Only weigh yourself once a week for most accurate results. Your weight can fluctuate throughout the day so you will just get discouraged if you keep stepping on the scales every day at different times of the day. I personally do it every Sunday morning, right after waking up and going to the bathroom.

Good luck!

I've been looking for a fitness related challenge for the past week or so. I just feel like I need the motivation boost from something like that to keep me going right now, as I've really struggled for a good while now. Most of the challenges I ran into are quite specific - for example the 30 day <insert muscle group here> challenges are littered across the wonderful world of the internet. But I wanted something more detailed to keep me interested.

I was looking into taking part to one of the DietBet challenges, but the thought of investing a lot of money into something that isn't guaranteed (especially at my stage, where losing weight is becoming quite difficult) just put me off slightly. I mean I might think about the DietBet10 as it gets closer to the start date, but for now that's not something I'm looking into.

Then I found something perfect at work when I was organising our magazine shelves. Women's Health has come up with a 6-week plan called Look Better Naked. It's a very detailed plan that includes both meal and exercise plans. It's only £7.99 and there's nothing bad that can happen as a result of this, so I went and bought it!


It's a lot more than just the plans, it actually talks a lot about nutrition and how to boost your confidence as well. Being comfortable in your own skin has to start from between the ears, it doesn't matter what your body is like if you don't like and appreciate it. It's definitely something I need to work on personally.

The meal plan is absolutely fantastic. All the ingredients you need are very basic, you can get them from any supermarket and won't break your bank. When I was doing Body Revolution I actually ignored the meal plan as it was full of organic and speciality ingredients I couldn't afford to buy or just simply couldn't get from Tesco. And I can quite happily say that I'm feeling full, it's not a plan that forces you to live on leaves. I did have to alter the lunch today as I don't have a lunch box I could take to uni with me and had to make a slight adjustment to dinner as the Co-op around the corner had very limited stock last night, but it was healthy substitutions so I'm happy. :)


Very much looking forward to starting with the exercises as well, but that'll have to wait til tomorrow. It's actually only four workouts a week and each workout is less than half an hour, so it's definitely something anyone can manage.

I've definitely got a good feeling about this!

It's been quite a packed week again. But nevermind, Thursday mornings are perfect for a bit of writing. ;)

After such a tiny loss this week I really felt like doing something about it straight away. Sunday being my day off again last week I just thought that I might as well go for a long walk to de-stress and clear my head for the week ahead. My plan was all good, but a few minutes after stepping outside it started raining. I just thought that I'll suck it up, it wasn't raining that hard and I've walked in worse weather before. And it was fine until about the last 20 minutes of my walk. It really started pouring down and I walked against the wind for a while so I just got completely soaked!! My hoodie, trousers, trainers and socks were completely wet and everything else at least partially wet. When I got back my other half just said "Did you go for a swim?!" when he saw me! :D He hadn't even realised that it had rained.


What's your excuse for not exercising? I didn't even let the awful weather stop me.

As you'd expect, we've got a student tutor at uni. He's there to listen to any concerns - both personal and uni related - and we had a really nice long chat on Tuesday. He was just asking about how things are going and so on and we sort of got on the subject of career choices. Ever since I moved to England I've started putting everyone else before myself (my background really influences this as I know how awful it feels to be alone and have nobody to talk to). If someone needs help with anything, 90% of the time I will drop my own things just so I can help a friend get through something. My tutor did suggest careers similar to a personal assistant on graphics related course and I also mentioned councelling. My other half keeps saying that I should look into it as I have helped quite a few friends through all kinds of mental issues. I've just really turned into someone who wants to help. I suppose it's simply because I didn't get the help I was after years ago and I just want to make sure others do.


On a slightly lighter note, my other half surprised me last night when I was leaving work! He cooks very rarely so when he called me to ask how to make a glaze I use on salmon I just couldn't wait to get home. :) It's just so nice to come home and not have to worry about cooking something every now and then. I mean I really love cooking and I happily do it every single night, but little treats like this make me so happy.

This is the glaze I use and it's divine. Really simple to make, tastes amazing and you can serve pretty much anything you want with it. We had it with lemon couscous, peas & sweetcorn and grilled peppers. I let my other half be in charge of plating it all up as well, he's so adorable.


I went through my wardrobe again last night. I've just got so many clothes I haven't worn for ages because they're either too big for me or I just don't simply like them. I did the same probably six months ago and now I've got two plastic bags full of clothes just sitting there, waiting for me to take them to a clothes bank so they'll be handed out to people who really need them. I just need someone to drive me to one, I'm not dragging two heavy bin bags full of clothes all the way to the closest one!


What I noticed after my little "cleansing ritual" was that it was mainly black and white again. I spoke about this subject a while ago and it's really starting to be obvious that my clothes are directly linked to my confidence. For years I wore dark colours and baggy clothes so I could just hide away. Apart from a pink dress and a green top all these clothes are just a part of the old me and I want to get rid of them.

Now I've just got to be brave and go shopping for new stuff. I can't say it enough, I hate shopping! I'd prefer to do it all online but I've got a gift card and a money off voucher that can only be used in store. Thankfully my friend offered to go with me so at least he will keep my sanity levels relatively normal when I do manage to drag myself to New Look again.