Our till system rotates funny, thoughtful and sarcastic quotes. I rarely pay attention to them, but then I happened to look down and this amazing quote popped up.


I see this in two different ways really. The first one is quite obvious - why would you jump straight into the water without actually knowing how deep it is and what exactly is below the surface? The chances are that you will drown or get seriously hurt. Or maybe something offers you a drink you've never heard of? You wouldn't just drink the whole glass in one go, would you?

The second one can be a negative one. It can come down to confidence and how brave you are to try new things and something you might be hesitant about. It can also reflect on people you meet along the way. It is never a good idea to rush into trusting someone you've only just met, as people tend to reveal their "true selves" after they get comfortable with you. Unfortunately this has been something I've had to learn the hard way, but in some cases these friendships have gone on for quite a while and I've stepped over that magical trust barrier, because I've felt like "OK, I've tested the waters long enough.". It's never easy to feel like you have been betrayed after you've let yourself become so vulnerable to another human being.

But it can always be a good thing! Protecting your precious soul can make you more independent, as all of a sudden you're not relying on everyone else when you're feeling down or struggling with something on an emotional level. I'm obviously not saying that you should bottle everything up, but certain mental "toughness" can completely change you as a person. It will make you a stronger person, it'll make you appreciate yourself more and you will end up taking a lot less bullshit from people.

It's been quite a packed week again. But nevermind, Thursday mornings are perfect for a bit of writing. ;)

After such a tiny loss this week I really felt like doing something about it straight away. Sunday being my day off again last week I just thought that I might as well go for a long walk to de-stress and clear my head for the week ahead. My plan was all good, but a few minutes after stepping outside it started raining. I just thought that I'll suck it up, it wasn't raining that hard and I've walked in worse weather before. And it was fine until about the last 20 minutes of my walk. It really started pouring down and I walked against the wind for a while so I just got completely soaked!! My hoodie, trousers, trainers and socks were completely wet and everything else at least partially wet. When I got back my other half just said "Did you go for a swim?!" when he saw me! :D He hadn't even realised that it had rained.


What's your excuse for not exercising? I didn't even let the awful weather stop me.

As you'd expect, we've got a student tutor at uni. He's there to listen to any concerns - both personal and uni related - and we had a really nice long chat on Tuesday. He was just asking about how things are going and so on and we sort of got on the subject of career choices. Ever since I moved to England I've started putting everyone else before myself (my background really influences this as I know how awful it feels to be alone and have nobody to talk to). If someone needs help with anything, 90% of the time I will drop my own things just so I can help a friend get through something. My tutor did suggest careers similar to a personal assistant on graphics related course and I also mentioned councelling. My other half keeps saying that I should look into it as I have helped quite a few friends through all kinds of mental issues. I've just really turned into someone who wants to help. I suppose it's simply because I didn't get the help I was after years ago and I just want to make sure others do.


On a slightly lighter note, my other half surprised me last night when I was leaving work! He cooks very rarely so when he called me to ask how to make a glaze I use on salmon I just couldn't wait to get home. :) It's just so nice to come home and not have to worry about cooking something every now and then. I mean I really love cooking and I happily do it every single night, but little treats like this make me so happy.

This is the glaze I use and it's divine. Really simple to make, tastes amazing and you can serve pretty much anything you want with it. We had it with lemon couscous, peas & sweetcorn and grilled peppers. I let my other half be in charge of plating it all up as well, he's so adorable.


I went through my wardrobe again last night. I've just got so many clothes I haven't worn for ages because they're either too big for me or I just don't simply like them. I did the same probably six months ago and now I've got two plastic bags full of clothes just sitting there, waiting for me to take them to a clothes bank so they'll be handed out to people who really need them. I just need someone to drive me to one, I'm not dragging two heavy bin bags full of clothes all the way to the closest one!


What I noticed after my little "cleansing ritual" was that it was mainly black and white again. I spoke about this subject a while ago and it's really starting to be obvious that my clothes are directly linked to my confidence. For years I wore dark colours and baggy clothes so I could just hide away. Apart from a pink dress and a green top all these clothes are just a part of the old me and I want to get rid of them.

Now I've just got to be brave and go shopping for new stuff. I can't say it enough, I hate shopping! I'd prefer to do it all online but I've got a gift card and a money off voucher that can only be used in store. Thankfully my friend offered to go with me so at least he will keep my sanity levels relatively normal when I do manage to drag myself to New Look again.

"People say I look slim, but I don't. I look slim-mer and trim-mer, which is a very different thing! But I'm trying and I'm feeling a lot better!"
- James Corden

While I'm not a massive celeb fangirl, I really felt like this quote is something I relate to so much right now. James Corden as a person means pretty much nothing to me, but as I was browsing through last week's Fabulous magazine his interview just caught my eye (mainly because it had "weight loss" written all over it).

People can definitely see the change in me and think I look great, and yeah in a way I think I look great right now. But it's not quite enough for me, all these people only see me with my clothes on. I am the one who needs to put up with the mirror image of myself without the clothes on and the cover they give. While I'm really happy with the way my figure is, I still hide quite a bit of the fat under the waistband of my jeans or under baggy tops. I am not far off from losing all that and I'm proud about that, but it's not quite enough for me yet. When I mention it I just get people gasping for air and thinking that I will just turn into a skeleton (I won't, trust me!), but I think they'd see it differently if they actually saw me the way I do.

I'm sure my past insecurities affect my self-image as well in a way despite my past being, well, the past. I do feel a million times more confident about myself than I used to, I know it's not all weight loss related and it's been a long process that's taken me years. It's small things like feeling "brave" enough to go out without any makeup on, not being afraid to show people who you really are. I've learned to think about it from the point of view that if people are so shallow that they can't look past things like lack of makeup, I don't even want to know them. What good would people like that contribute to my life, if all they could think about is something so superficial?


And to change the subject to something a bit lighter now! I am so excited about this weekend! It's my birthday on Monday and I'm going up to London to celebrate with a small group of friends. I've gotten to know all these people through World of Warcraft, I've known them all for years and they really are some of the best company I could think of. Unfortunately not everyone could make it and I really wanted to include a few people from my uni course as well but it would've been too short notice to ask them to join me. :( Oh well, I just need to organise something separate with those guys next week! Still debating with myself if I should head back early enough on Monday to catch my afternoon lessons at uni, I don't like missing uni!


I am a bit worried about it food wise though. I know I'm not going to drink tons because I've never been a big drinker in general and the thought of it hindering my progress just puts me off a bit. But the food! It's definitely my weak link when we do stuff like this, my brain just seems to switch off when I get handed a menu at a restaurant! Thankfully one of my friends is really into working out now as well so hopefully she will keep me in check all weekend! And just to prepare for it all, I'm trying to eat as healthy as possible until then. My lunch today was just a simple salmon "salad" with a bit of cottage cheese on the side. Yummy. :)

Time to head out and do a bit of last minute shopping before work, all my clothes are really starting to be waaay too baggy and it bothers me so much. Badly fitting clothes really make me look bigger than I am and especially underwear can really feel uncomfortable if it doesn't fit right. I feel like this will be an expensive shopping trip.. :p

More about the title in a bit. Just getting the daily food post out of the way first. :) As it's been quite obvious lately in my posts, I'm trying to reduce my carbs and then two weeks before going to Finland I'm going low carb. At the moment I'm trying to have one low carb and one high carb meal. I tried going cold turkey with it a year ago and it just failed miserably, I was just craving carbs 24/7. Maybe being smart about it this time makes it a bit easier..


And now, to the actual thing I wanted to talk about. It basically boils down to feeling way more confident than I used to before starting my weight loss journey. It's very noticable in clothing alone. I used to wear dark clothes, I barely had any colour in my wardrobe. I never actually paid that much attention to it until recently when I actually opened my drawers and saw the increase in colour. I just automatically go for the bright coloured clothing now when I'm shopping, I can't even remember the last black / dark top I've bought. It's not a concious decision really, I just seem to prefer all the cute colours nowadays.



Oh and I can't wait to be able to buy all those skin hugging dresses, pretty skirts and tops. I just seem to be having this eternity project with my thighs at the moment! It is so very painful to be out on a hot day when wearing a skirt and your thighs rub against each other.. On the joys of sweat rash. I made that mistake last week actually, had to walk so much that day and it really backfired. :( Still got the marks on my thighs from that! Oh well, I've got these shaper shorts (pretty similar to these) I bought last year when we went to Rome purely for that purpose, I'll just be rocking those hotties again this summer. :D